Neuro Diverse

I can remember when I was eight years old and hid in the closet. School was torturous, my third grade teacher hated me. She hated most kids, especially girls but nobody more than me. I could no longer take it.

The narrative was simple, I must be bad, my parents must be lacking and the likely solution was a good dose of discipline. That was the only thing the people in charge agreed would put me right.

Thankfully my folks didn’t buy into this definition and after a long search in a NYC library looking up articles on microfiche in the 1980’s my mum found a doctor in California who shed some light. He was an early day pioneer researching and writing about ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder).

I couldn’t sit still for long because my brain could process more when I was moving. When I wasn’t interested I sighed a lot, never mind the quality of what I produced when I had exciting teachers. Most of all I completely lost all self-belief before the age of 9 because I believed a narrow and rigid view that was hyper critical of difference. Difference was bad, “normal “was good and diversity wasn’t yet part of anyone’s vocabulary.

It is little wonder that I spent a lifetime compensating or masking (pretending nothing was different about me) because the definition of being disordered or disabled bothered me. It felt like the wrong description of the right diagnosis. It still does.

Words matter when we are neuro diverse and want to belong. I’ve long thought that my successes are because of and not in spite of my neuro diversity. If I could write a letter to my ADHD I would start by thanking ADHD for how my brain works. My insightfulness, creative thinking and problem solving are strategies often associated with ADHD. I’ve had this in abundance alongside an easy ability to multi task and take calculated risks.

Neuro Diverse not Neuro Divergent

In fact, 15% of the population are neuro diverse, (not neuro divergent – a deliberate choice of words from me). 1 in 20 people have ADHD. It didn’t occur to me for a very long time that there may well be a reason why humanity needs this diversity.

All of these traits make me both a fearless communicator in a crises ( July 7 London bombings, a disruptive campus fire, a pandemic) , and an ambitious campaigner ( increasing fundraising for homeless people, rebranding an inner London Borough from poor to excellent, and leading transformational campaigns for the physio profession most recently Stronger My Way and Right To Rehab) .

I am not going to trivialise mine or other people’s struggles. I won’t dismiss how impairing ADHD can be especially in a world where seeing things differently is viewed as a deficit rather than an advantage. That stigma, prejudice and limiting stereotype kept me masked for a very long time.

Intention

Logically companies that are successful value difference because seasoned leaders know that a culture that cultivates difference produces innovative solutions to new challenges and opportunities. If we all think the same all we get is more of the same. However, creating a culture of difference and belonging has to be intentional. Conscious inclusion comes before unconscious inclusion.

Flip the Script

What if the script were flipped? In place of disturbed we saw creative? What if hyperactive was passionate energy or instead of impulsivity it was decisiveness? These are massive strengths not deficits. They don’t change the fact that some executive functioning is delayed. I’ll be the first to admit this made the early years at school especially tough, hence the 8 year old hiding in the closet.

As a thriving adult it means sometimes I am so focused on a resolving a challenging work project that I forget to have lunch or dinner or that my children exist. While at other times I need a little more time to read or write a long document. I can guarantee this is counterbalanced with the speed in which I can deliver a lot of other things not least because I run towards the knotty, complicated problems, thriving on sorting the messy. It is when my fight or flight is optimised.

To mask or not to mask

I masked it for a long time because it felt safe until we started unmasking inequity in our communities, schools and workplaces during the covid pandemic. This shift left me with an agonising dilemma. I had to ask myself , do I continue to mask, pretend I am not neuro diverse or reveal me (the same me I have always been but with the ADHD label) ?

Masked I was safe from other peoples’ narratives and most importantly safe from their lack of awareness and bias. But in equal measure I could not role model, break the stereotypes or sometimes reach out for help.

Unmasking risked externalising all of my internal stigma, but being masked denied me the opportunity to be respected for who I am. In a senior role within the leadership group of my current organisation with measurable and visible campaign success under my belt, the secrecy felt more of a burden than an escape.

A crash course in me

So for anyone who doesn’t know me, perhaps a crash course? I have ADHD. I graduated top of my class for both my bachelors and master’s degrees. This is because I am curious, driven and intelligent. I have never been disciplined, fired or had a grievance against me at work. This is because I deliver successful initiatives and high performing teams and I deeply care about both doing my best and improving my best. I have never been out of work except to have my three beautiful children, I am dedicated to the quality of my work and I love having a rewarding career.

My husband and I have been married for 24 years. Our relationship has stood the test of time because I am committed to building, cultivating and growing strong relationships. I picked a good person who complimented my strengths and my weaknesses. I have never caused a car accident, been arrested or walked away from an important commitment. I picked these examples because they are the ones I hear most associated with all of the negative definitions of ADHD.

Make no mistake I am very aware of my flaws and I have my fair share – but doesn’t everyone? I am harder on myself than anyone else could ever be and I am always working things through. I want to be authentic and I want to give my best. Most of all I want to say to colleagues who remind me of my younger self or who find themselves in a similar situation, I am here and I understand. I want to reassure them that they are great because of the difference they bring not in spite of it. I feel very vulnerable sharing this deeply disguised part of me not because I have anything to hide but because I kept it hidden so long.

Sara Hazzard |Assistant Director Strategic Communications and Co-Chair Community Rehabilitation Alliance | The Chartered Society of Physiotherapy (CSP)

“Unmasking risked externalising all of my internal stigma, but being masked denied me the opportunity to be respected for who I am.”

Introduction: In a world that often favors conformity and adherence to norms, neurodiversity stands as a reminder of the incredible range of human experiences and abilities. Among the diverse range of neurological conditions, Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) and hyper sensitivity present specific challenges and strengths. 

This sometimes poses barriers to success in the workplace. It’s time to shift our perspective and welcome the extraordinary talents and insights that individuals with ADHD and hyper sensitivity offer. 

Let’s explore the intersection of hypersensitivity and neurodiversity in the workplace, to shed light on the top five observations that often represent untapped potential:

1. Challenging the Norms: ADHD and hyper sensitivity often go hand in hand, making the world a potentially sensory-rich environment. While this may present challenges, it also opens up a world of possibilities. The heightened sensitivity to stimuli can enable me to notice details that others might overlook. I have a keen eye for problem-solving, pattern recognition, and creative thinking. By embracing these unique perspectives, workplaces can tap into a treasure trove of innovation and unconventional solutions.
2. Energizing Creativity: ADHD is often associated with boundless energy and an incessant drive for exploration. Instead of viewing these traits as distractions, organisations can harness this energy to fuel creativity and innovative thinking. 
   By providing outlets for diverse thinkers, organisations get diversity of thought. It’s crucial to encourage a dynamic work environment, if employers want to create a space where individuals with ADHD can thrive and contribute unique and unconventional insights.
   If my lived experience proves anything it’s that my natural inclination for risk-taking and pushing boundaries can and does lead to breakthrough ideas that drive organisations forward.
3. Hyper Focus and Productivity: Contrary to popular belief, individuals with ADHD possess the remarkable ability to hyper focus on tasks that capture our interest. Once we find our “flow,” we can exhibit an unparalleled level of concentration and productivity. By understanding and accommodating our need for a stimulating environment, employers can help realise valuable potential. 
   This might involve creating flexible workspaces, providing access to noise-cancellation technologies, or allowing for intermittent breaks that align with natural attention rhythms.
4. Collaboration and Diversity: Creating an inclusive work environment that embraces neurodiversity is not only about accommodating individual needs but also about fostering collaboration and empathy among team members. By fostering an environment where different perspectives and cognitive styles are valued, organisations can create stronger and more innovative teams. The complementary skills and talents of neurodiverse individuals can enhance problem-solving abilities, promote pioneering thinking, and contribute to more robust decision-making processes.
5. Support and Empowerment: To truly unlock the potential of individuals with ADHD and hyper sensitivity, it is essential for organisations to provide appropriate support in exchange for greater capacity. This can involve tailored adjustments (many of which are arguably good for all individuals). These can include clear communication channels including visual aids, task management strategies, and flexible work schedules. Additionally, providing access to coaching, mentoring, and professional development opportunities can help individuals build on strengths, navigate challenges, and excel In our roles. 
   Conclusion:

Neurodiversity should be celebrated, not just for the sake of inclusivity, but for the incredible benefits it brings to the workplace. By embracing the unique perspectives and talents of individuals with ADHD and hyper sensitivity, organisations can foster innovation, creativity, and collaboration. It’s time to shift our mindset and create work environments that allow neurodiverse individuals to thrive, and to contribute our extraordinary abilities to the growth and success of our workplaces.

The studio was filled with the rich odour of roses, and when the light summer wind stirred amidst the trees of the garden, there came through the open door the heavy scent of the lilac, or the more delicate perfume of the pink-flowering thorn.

From the corner of the divan of Persian saddle-bags on which he was lying, smoking, as was his custom, innumerable cigarettes, Lord Henry Wotton could just catch the gleam of the honey-sweet and honey-coloured blossoms of a laburnum, whose tremulous branches seemed hardly able to bear the burden of a beauty so flamelike as theirs; and now and then the fantastic shadows of birds in flight flitted across the long tussore-silk curtains that were stretched in front of the huge window, producing a kind of momentary Japanese effect, and making him think of those pallid, jade-faced painters of Tokyo who, through the medium of an art that is necessarily immobile, seek to convey the sense of swiftness and motion. The sullen murmur of the bees shouldering their way through the long unmown grass, or circling with monotonous insistence round the dusty gilt horns of the straggling woodbine, seemed to make the stillness more oppressive. The dim roar of London was like the bourdon note of a distant organ.

In the centre of the room, clamped to an upright easel, stood the full-length portrait of a young man of extraordinary personal beauty, and in front of it, some little distance away, was sitting the artist himself, Basil Hallward, whose sudden disappearance some years ago caused, at the time, such public excitement and gave rise to so many strange conjectures.

As the painter looked at the gracious and comely form he had so skilfully mirrored in his art, a smile of pleasure passed across his face, and seemed about to linger there. But he suddenly started up, and closing his eyes, placed his fingers upon the lids, as though he sought to imprison within his brain some curious dream from which he feared he might awake.

“It is your best work, Basil, the best thing you have ever done,” said Lord Henry languidly. “You must certainly send it next year to the Grosvenor. The Academy is too large and too vulgar. Whenever I have gone there, there have been either so many people that I have not been able to see the pictures, which was dreadful, or so many pictures that I have not been able to see the people, which was worse. The Grosvenor is really the only place.”

“I don’t think I shall send it anywhere,” he answered, tossing his head back in that odd way that used to make his friends laugh at him at Oxford. “No, I won’t send it anywhere.”

Lord Henry elevated his eyebrows and looked at him in amazement through the thin blue wreaths of smoke that curled up in such fanciful whorls from his heavy, opium-tainted cigarette. “Not send it anywhere? My dear fellow, why? Have you any reason? What odd chaps you painters are! You do anything in the world to gain a reputation. As soon as you have one, you seem to want to throw it away. It is silly of you, for there is only one thing in the world worse than being talked about, and that is not being talked about. A portrait like this would set you far above all the young men in England, and make the old men quite jealous, if old men are ever capable of any emotion.”

“I know you will laugh at me,” he replied, “but I really can’t exhibit it. I have put too much of myself into it.”

Lord Henry stretched himself out on the divan and laughed.

“Yes, I knew you would; but it is quite true, all the same.”

“Too much of yourself in it! Upon my word, Basil, I didn’t know you were so vain; and I really can’t see any resemblance between you, with your rugged strong face and your coal-black hair, and this young Adonis, who looks as if he was made out of ivory and rose-leaves. Why, my dear Basil, he is a Narcissus, and you—well, of course you have an intellectual expression and all that. But beauty, real beauty, ends where an intellectual expression begins. Intellect is in itself a mode of exaggeration, and destroys the harmony of any face. The moment one sits down to think, one becomes all nose, or all forehead, or something horrid. Look at the successful men in any of the learned professions. How perfectly hideous they are! Except, of course, in the Church. But then in the Church they don’t think. A bishop keeps on saying at the age of eighty what he was told to say when he was a boy of eighteen, and as a natural consequence he always looks absolutely delightful. Your mysterious young friend, whose name you have never told me, but whose picture really fascinates me, never thinks. I feel quite sure of that. He is some brainless beautiful creature who should be always here in winter when we have no flowers to look at, and always here in summer when we want something to chill our intelligence. Don’t flatter yourself, Basil: you are not in the least like him.”

“You don’t understand me, Harry,” answered the artist. “Of course I am not like him. I know that perfectly well. Indeed, I should be sorry to look like him. You shrug your shoulders? I am telling you the truth. There is a fatality about all physical and intellectual distinction, the sort of fatality that seems to dog through history the faltering steps of kings. It is better not to be different from one’s fellows. The ugly and the stupid have the best of it in this world. They can sit at their ease and gape at the play. If they know nothing of victory, they are at least spared the knowledge of defeat. They live as we all should live—undisturbed, indifferent, and without disquiet. They neither bring ruin upon others, nor ever receive it from alien hands. Your rank and wealth, Harry; my brains, such as they are—my art, whatever it may be worth; Dorian Gray’s good looks—we shall all suffer for what the gods have given us, suffer terribly.”

“Dorian Gray? Is that his name?” asked Lord Henry, walking across the studio towards Basil Hallward.

“Yes, that is his name. I didn’t intend to tell it to you.”

“Oh, I can’t explain. When I like people immensely, I never tell their names to any one. It is like surrendering a part of them. I have grown to love secrecy. It seems to be the one thing that can make modern life mysterious or marvellous to us. The commonest thing is delightful if one only hides it. When I leave town now I never tell my people where I am going. If I did, I would lose all my pleasure. It is a silly habit, I dare say, but somehow it seems to bring a great deal of romance into one’s life. I suppose you think me awfully foolish about it?”

“Not at all,” answered Lord Henry, “not at all, my dear Basil. You seem to forget that I am married, and the one charm of marriage is that it makes a life of deception absolutely necessary for both parties. I never know where my wife is, and my wife never knows what I am doing. When we meet—we do meet occasionally, when we dine out together, or go down to the Duke’s—we tell each other the most absurd stories with the most serious faces. My wife is very good at it—much better, in fact, than I am. She never gets confused over her dates, and I always do. But when she does find me out, she makes no row at all. I sometimes wish she would; but she merely laughs at me.”

“I hate the way you talk about your married life, Harry,” said Basil Hallward, strolling towards the door that led into the garden. “I believe that you are really a very good husband, but that you are thoroughly ashamed of your own virtues. You are an extraordinary fellow. You never say a moral thing, and you never do a wrong thing. Your cynicism is simply a pose.”

“Being natural is simply a pose, and the most irritating pose I know,” cried Lord Henry, laughing; and the two young men went out into the garden together and ensconced themselves on a long bamboo seat that stood in the shade of a tall laurel bush. The sunlight slipped over the polished leaves. In the grass, white daisies were tremulous.

After a pause, Lord Henry pulled out his watch. “I am afraid I must be going, Basil,” he murmured, “and before I go, I insist on your answering a question I put to you some time ago.”

“What is that?” said the painter, keeping his eyes fixed on the ground.

“You know quite well.”

“I do not, Harry.”